Writer's Digest -- St. Patrick's Day Special Edition

I thought this was a bit strange, but in honor of St. Patrick's Day, I thought...hey, why not?! I'm up for the challenge!

You drank a little too much green beer on St. Patrick's Day and can't remember the night. A friend calls to check up on you and fills you in on what happened—and why she has your pants.

Photo credit: beccafromportland

"You were pretty wild last night. How's the hangover?" said a giggly Victoria.

"Head's still throbbing, but I have my trusty Vitamin Water by my side. Hmmm..was I really wild?" I questioned as I switched my cell phone to the other ear. "I don't remember much besides going to a few bars on Clement and Geary. Grabbing a slice and heading home. Too much green beer! Good thing St. Paddy's Day only comes once a year!!"

"So you don't remember The Bitter End? Pole dancing? Dollar bills stuffed down your shirt?"

"Nope."

"Only good thing about it was those dollar bill paid for our pizza that night," Victoria mused. "Oh, I'll drop by after work tonight to return your pants."

"My what? My pants?"

"Didn't you notice the jeans you wore last night were missing? At the very end of your pole dance, you started to unbutton the top of your jeans. We continued to walk outside and your pants kept falling further and further off your butt."

"How come no one pulled them back up for me?"

"Wait, I'm getting to that. We tried to pull them up, but you wouldn't let us button them. They seemed snug enough, so we just kept walking to Nizario's. As we turned onto Geary, you fell flat on your knees. Your pants had somehow come off, made you trip, and you landed on dog do...it wasn't all over, just on one pant leg."

"Gross, all that happened last night? Gosh, I'm glad I forgot! Wait, so I was walking around with dog shit stained jeans the rest of the night??" I shouted in between sips of my Vitamin Water.

"NO! We wouldn't let you do that! Luckily, Sarah offered to loan you the leggings she was wearing under her skirt. Meant she was out there in the cold in a micro mini, but you had pants again. We were going to leave your pants on the street, but they are afterall your favorite pair, so we brought them to the dry cleaners this morning."

I gasped, "They took the dog shit stained pants?"

"They sure did...and that'll be $20, please."

Writer's Digest Prompts Continues

Write an apology letter to yourself for not taking a chance you wish you would have—whether it be in love, work, your writing career or even something silly.


Dear Marie,

I know it's not the best to have too many regrets, but I'm hoping this one is okay to have because there's something I/we can do about it. I apologize for not putting you first all these years. I'm such a collectivistic person, so focused on filial piety, that I neglected to attend to your needs and wants. Let's do something to erectify this. Together, let's know our worth. Say "no" more often. Be true to ourselves. Sure, we'll keep doing things for others, but be mindful about putting ourselves as first priority.

This apology is long overdue, and for that also, I am sorry. Here's to putting you first!

Sincerely,
Marie

Writer's Digest Got it Going On!

Yet another Writer's Digest writing prompt that got my attention. Admittedly, I had to sift through a few pages before finding this, but I'm patient. This particular prompt is very unique and hopefully will help me learn to write details. Here it is:

Look around the room and pick an object. Write one paragraph describing the object in full detail and a second paragraph explaining where it came from.

Photo credit: dianaschnuth

My garbage bin sits underneath my tiny work desk. It makes for less leg room, but admittedly, there is no other place to put it inside the office. The tan, plastic garbage bin stands a little over a foot tall, a foot and a half wide and less than a foot deep. To say it's ordinary is an understatement! The black garbage bag that lines it is tied taught to one side by a knot. It's contents include: 3/4 full container of low fat mixed berry yogurt (sweetened with Splenda, I couldn't stomach the horrible aspertain taste) with a plastic disposable spoon still in the container, a Trader Joe's brand Jasmine Green Tea bag and some of the tea steeped dark (leftover from yesterday's afternoon cup), and the plastic packaging for the heavy duty plastic binder dividers along with the colorful paper packaging that pictures and describes the product's features. Probably the strangest of the bin's contents are a dozen budless flower stems with dried leaves and all. The multi-colored roses survived almost two weeks in the murky waters; a gift from my thoughtful co-workers on my 30th birthday.

Everyone in the office appears to have their own garbage bin. For those who lock their doors at the end of the work day, they leave the bins outside in the hallway. All lined up, they get magically emptied after hours, and often re-lined with new garbage bags (especially for those bins that had food and drink). Every morning my officemate arrives to work before me, she thoughtfully places my garbage bin underneath my desk...always in the exact spot.

Writing Exercises at Their Best

I found a decent site for writing prompts in Writer's Digest. It's updated frequently as they have holiday/calendar related prompts. This is one I chose (hoping I'll do a good job with dialogue):

When out to lunch with co-workers, you bump into a close friend who refers to you by a nickname. Because of its unusualness, the nickname catches the interest of one of your co-workers who asks for the story behind it. Start your story with, "This may come as a surprise, but ... " and end it with, "And that's how I got the nickname (fill in the blank)." (500 word or fewer)

Photo credit: flashlightfish

"This may come to a surprise, but...I'm a bit of a goody two shoes, " I reported. "That nickname, Sovereign is in regards to me being a good two shoes, princess type...in fact when Daniel and I used to play Super Mario Brothers, I always played the princess character. And on top of that, my middle name is Severina. Which I guess sounds like Sovereign."

The three of us continued to walk down the street towards our building. Maggie looks over and says, "I guess I see it."

"So, Daniel is your friend from high school and you've had that nickname since then? Who else calls you by that name?" asks Lara.

"Yes, Daniel went to Wash with me. Hmmmm, but the nickname didn't surface till college. Our other friend, Charles made it up. He was into nicknames...and was desparate to find one for me.

"He should have tried harder...though, I suppose it's regal. Get it?!" Lara joked.

I laughed all the way up the stairs and into my office, only waiving at Maggie as we parted ways to our separate wings.

"Gee, it wasn't that funny," Lara said.

"Maybe not, " I replied, "but it got me."

Always unmotivated to work after a bento box lunch, I decided to check my personal email before cracking down on that event budget. Daniel had already sent me an email about meeting up later in the week for coffee. Oh, sent from his Apple iPhone...la ti da, I thought to myself. As I was replying to his email, I began to go over our 15 year friendship. I realized there was more to the story of the nickname and had to share with Lara down the hall.

"Hey, Lara! I remembered more details around how I got my nickname. I was at the mall with Daniel and Charles, and I ran into a family friend who's name was Princess. I hadn't seen her in years, and after small talk, I realized I didn't know her at all anymore. In fact, I disliked how fake we both were in our conversation. 'I used to envy Princess,' I told the two. 'She always had prettier dresses and cooler toys than me...she was always prettier too.' Charles retorted, 'But look who's prettier now? Who's better dressed, and has two fly boys at her side?' Daniel added, 'And you're about 5 inches taller than her too!!' 'Ah ha, Charles added, "looks like you're more of a princess than she is. And we shall call you, Sovereign."

"And that's how I got the nickname, Sovereign."

************************

Opps...425 words!

Other OTH quotes

“The heart has reasons that reason cannot know.”
-- Blaise Pascal, author

Photo credit: * Yumi *

“Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone;and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.”
--Ida Scott Taylor, author

“Live all you can; it's a mistake not to. It doesn't so much matter what you do in particular, so long as you have your life. If you haven't had that what have you had?”
--Henry James, author

"There is no despair so absolute as that which comes with the first moments of our first great sorrow, when we have not yet known what it is to have suffered and healed, to have despaired and have recovered hope."
--George Eliot, author

Season 3 provided me with a lot of insight about love, loss and grieving. I know that it's just a television show, but the show touches on emotions I'm currently feeling. And while television is be favorite escape, I'm okay with the show affecting my emotions and causing way more tears than usual.

Quotes (from OTH)

I'm in LOVE with One Tree Hill. I love the quotes Lucas says in the beginning of each episode; it's as if it's the episode's "theme" . Love it! Here's one from Season 2:

Photo credit: ToniVC


"Time takes it all, whether you want it to or not. Time takes it all, time bears it away, and in the end there is only darkness. Sometimes we find others in that darkness, and sometimes we lose them there again."

-- Stephen King, author

Writing Exercise(s) Found Online Part 2

The minute I read this writing prompt, I knew I wanted to do it. I had a blast attempting to write the prose in my last writing exercise, and I can only imagine this will be even more fun. (Dialogue is hard to write...for some reason.) Here's the prompt:

Shifts in Perspective: Write about a past family gathering, the most embarrassing thing that ever happened in your high school, the best (or worst) teacher you ever had, the time you learned to do something important (swim, ride a bike, use a computer), or the biggest event you ever attended. Write the story in as much detail as possible, explaining what you saw, what you did, and how you felt. Then rewrite the same story from the perspective of someone else - a relative, a fellow student, another participant, a passer-by, etc.






My Perspective

Mr. Bob Matthews was every one's favorite 7th grade teacher...favorite teacher, period. He gave us 7th graders a reason to like Math and Science. In fact, Science was my favorite subject back then because of him. I'll never forget receiving an A+ in Science on my report card. Who gets an A+ in Science?! It was all the extra credit points he used to issue us after the actual exam. Fun little tidbits of knowledge that we'd absorb like a sponge. For instance, FUCK is an acronym--For UnCardinal Knowledge. Yup, that's something we learned from Mr. Matthews. He knew what was and wasn't appropriate.

Last day of 7th grade, someone had the idea that we'd do a nice send off to Mr. Matthews. Earlier in the year, he showed us the movie, Dead Poets' Society with Robin Williams. Everyone was captivated by the movie. To this day, I think of 7th grade when I watch or the mere mention of the movie. Last day of school...12:15 or something like that because it was a half day...the bell rings, I and 30 other classmates stand on top of our desks and say, "O Captain, My Captain". Just like in the movie, we are emotional. Tears stream down my cheeks. I look around the room and it's not an uncommon emotion. Mr. Matthews looks as if he's near tears. He bows. He says a few parting words of gratitude, and then quickly leaves the room. We got to him...and he had to run out of the room cause he didn't want us to see him cry.



The Janitor's Perspective

That Bob Matthews was every one's favorite teacher. Always kids around him staying after class with questions. I was mopping the hallway near his classroom the other day and I heard how he captivated his students. One student proclaimed, "You make Science so much fun!" He treats his students with respect and you get a sense that he's making a difference in their lives.

Yesterday was the last day of school. I was doing my rounds upstairs when I peaked inside Mr. Matthews classroom. He stood before them and the students were on top of their desks. Strange sight. Some looked very emotional with tears in their eyes. Mr. Matthews himself looked near tears. He was speaking in front of the class one minute and then rushing out the door the next. Matter of fact he almost ran into me on his way out. The students came down from their desks and cried. Hugged each other and cried. I wonder if it had anything to do with them being 8th graders now.

Writing Exercise(s) Found Online

I googled "writing exercises" and came across websites, with you guessed it, writing exercises upon writing exercises. I clicked on the very first link, and interestingly enough, came across a writing exercise for narrative prose. I haven't written much prose before, and thought I'd give it a try. Below is the prompt:

One of the mistakes beginning writers make is to think it is interesting to read about people being happy and having fun. In prose narrative, in general, negative events and situations are more vivid than happy ones. I think this is probably because narrative thrives on conflict, and conflict is sometimes-- not always-- expressive of negative emotions or situations. Perhaps it isn't so much sad versus happy or positive versus negative as it is dynamic versus static.

Write a scene with people doing something pleasant, enjoying themselves. Make it a real scene, with dialogue and action, not just a description of eating a delicious fresh cannoli! Have everyone happy and relaxed. Then, something bad or dangerous or confusing happens. The scene becomes full of strife or tension. It may not last, but it happens. Whether it is serious or funny is your business, and also whether or not things go back to the original serenity.

Photo credit: Tomatoskin

The two marveled at the rain from her office window. The down pour was quite lovely, romantic and cozy even, as they were indoors with their cups of tea.

"This is exactly what we needed. It didn't really rain like this last year either," said Lara as she took a sip of her tea.

"Uh-huh..." Danica agreed. "Look at how the rain turns into little beads traveling across the wire..."

They continue to gaze out the window. A bird flew right into the almost sheets of rain. The leaves are heavy and drooping downward. The constant stream pounds on the pavement. Solitaire drops hit the window sill and a puddle forms. The sounds and the sights of the rain are gifts for the senses.

The rain ensues, but the two had to return to work. Danica retreated to her desk to an email in her inbox. The subject title said, "Bad news". Her heart started to race. She didn't recognize the addressee's email. With little hesitation, she opened it.

Hi Danica,

I know this is not the best way to tell you, but Jordan was in a car accident. It happened earlier today during the morning rain storm. He was driving down 280 on his way to meet with a client, and he skid and lost control of his car. He hit the car ahead of him, and it resulted in a three car pile up. He was rushed to the hospital with contusions to his ribs and minor head injuries. He's unconscious right now, but the doctors say he'll wake up any minute. I know you haven't been close lately, but thought you'd want to know.

Call me if you want to stop by the hospital. I know it would mean a lot to Jordan if you stopped by.

Mark
555-5232

Danica had not seen Jordan in five months. Their breakup was amicable enough, but perhaps that what made it hard to move on. She still loved him, and wondered if he still loved her. She didn't know if showing up at the hospital was a good idea. They said that with time, they'd try to be friends, but it hasn't materialized yet. She needed reassurance, so she called Mark.

"Mark, it's Danica. Is he awake yet?"

"No, not yet." Mark answered. "Are you coming by the hospital?"

"I think so. I'll stop by after work. Is he at CPMC on Webster?"

"Yes. Room 2433. You'll have to register at the nurses station for a visitor pass, but they should grant you one."

"Okay, sounds good. I'll see you soon. Mark, I'm scared. He's going to be okay, right?"

"I hope so. He's in stable condition as far as the doctor's say. He just needs to wake up."

"Okay. I'll see you."

She became somber. Every other email in her inbox seemed unimportant. Meeting on Thursday. Deadline next Monday. She could barely stay focused enough to process any other information. She packed her bag, turned off her computer and bid farewell to Lara.

"What's wrong kid?" Lara asked.

"Something big. Jordan's in the hospital. I have to go. We'll chat tomorrow. Stay dry and take care."

"Oh no. I'll be thinking of you. Take care and call me if you need to, honey."

"Thanks, I will. Good night."

The next 20 - 30 minutes in transit were a blur. Her mind raced. She was so full of different emotions. Scared. Sad. Anxious. "He has to be okay...he has to be okay," she almost chanted.

At the hospital, Mark greets her. "He's awake. Literally after I got off the phone with you, he opened his eyes."

"That's great news. So, he's okay?"

"Yes...but he has amnesia. He doesn't remember the accident. And the doctors don't know how far back of his memory he's lost. As far as they know now he doesn't remember anything that happened today. Do you want to go see him?"

"Sure. Come in with me?"

"Sure thing, Danica."

The two walked slowly into the room. Nurses and doctors were prodding and poking him. Jordan swatted the nurse. "I'm fine. I'm fine. I feel great." He looks up and sees Danica.

"I'm better now that my girl friend is here," he gestured and pointed to Danica.

Danica and Mark stop dead in their tracks and both shared a look of bewilderment.

"Huh?" said Danica. "He doesn't remember that we broke up..."

Second Try

Still having a hard time evoking the happiness of my past relationship. Really beginning to think I suppressed it well, and it's deep, deep in there...somewhere. Here to my second try at it:

In love. Together forever. Not so.

Promises of together forever...just ended...

Life without you...hard to fathom.


That's all I can or care to muster up for now. Normal blog entries will resume tomorrow...I promise!

Six Word Memoirs

I'm inspired!

Apparently, this magazine had a challenge to sum up your love life in six words. Hundreds rose to the challenge...including yours truly. (Go here for the full story: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=100510986)



Here are my humble attempts:

Love exists. But his depression's stronger.

Missing him hurts. Only time heals.

Wonder--where does the love go?

Brunch--fine. Me bubbly. Him awkward.

I tried to think of a happier time and write a 6 word memoir, but sadly, I couldn't. Can I not think back to happier time in love? Blocked it out? In any case, maybe I better not dwell on the past anyway.




Parting is such sweet sorrow...bye!

Days Off

**Original posting on Live Journal on January 25, 2009**

I bet a lot could be said about a person based on how they spend their day(s) off. For instance, Saturdays are reserved for visiting my dad. He waits all week for all three of us (me, my mom and bro) to come visit. We come bearing snacks, some he eats instantly and others he'll save for during the week. Sunday is my day. As of late, I've been the poster child for lazy Sundays. I'll stay in bed past 11:00, watch television (mainly series DVD sets), chat with my sister on the phone and MAYBE make plans to meet a friend for a meal or coffee at 1:30pm or later. This is my day for doing any type of shopping, including grocery, clothes, and the like. Ideally, I'd like to cook a nice meal on Sunday, start early and eat early. Wind down the weekend and enjoy the last hours of relaxation before the work week begins.

If what I do during the weekend has any reflection on the type of person that I am, then I'd say I'm someone who likes to spend time with family and friends. I'm somewhat committed to a schedule and obligations, but take time to do nothing and play the day by ear. Simply put, I most enjoy a balance of fun and relaxation.

Writing a Little Everyday

**Original posting on Live Journal on January 23, 2009**

I promised myself that I would write a little something everyday. I'm prefacing this entry by saying that this is a writing exercise that was introduced to me. I haven't tried it before, but it sounded really intriguing, and hey, I'll try anything once! (Part of my risk taking new year's resolution, I suppose...) You think of a word. And you go with it and write about it. The word I choose is LOVE.

Photo credit: Pink Sherbet Photography

I'm being dramatic, right? I could have chosen a more uncommon and esoteric word like egg (my coworker's example) or lake or dress or even family. But here I go with my choice: love.

Until late, I was convinced I knew, I lived amongst and I breathed love. And just like that, I wasn't. The thing is, love changes and evolves; goes through ups and downs, and ultimately exists in the everyday. The honeymoon stage, or the highs that exist early on in relationships turn into love for the the individual as a person, friendship, respect, and admiration. This is the type of love that lasts, and what I believe the type of love I had, knew, lived amongst and breathed...

Pursuit of Happiness

**Original posting on Live Journal on January 22, 2009**

Everyone is in pursuit of happiness, whether it's a quick high or lasting bliss. I've read a number of articles promising the secrets to happiness in various women magazines like Cosmo, Marie Claire, Real Simple and the like, however, this article really stuck accord with me. Perhaps because the article appeared to me at an opportune time; I want to keep it with me, so to be able to refer to it again and again. And unlike the other articles I've read, this article includes feasible elements and a good balance of mind, body and soul.

Below is the article with my commentary in PURPLE.

Photo credit: Kerbi

7 Secrets to Happiness

True joy — not quickie mood boosts but that totally stoked mental state — boils down to these surprising essentials. Behold, your ticket to bliss.

We live in a world where there are endless possibilities. Think about it: As women, we have a billion options when it comes to careers, relationships, clothes...hell, even groovy exercise classes. And yet, we’re more bummed out than ever before. Proof: When Americans were surveyed in the 1950s, 53 percent said they were “very happy,” but by the late 1990s, it was down to 30 percent. “Intuitively, having so many choices should make you happier, but it can actually make you feel worse,” says Barry Schwartz, PhD, author of The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less. “The more options you have, the higher your expectations, and when your expectations are sky-high, you’re destined for disappointment...no matter how good things get.”

So if such abundance doesn’t make us happy, then what does flip our bliss switch? Is it adopting the lifestyle before we had so many life options? Not entirely. Our parents grew up with fewer choices to make, but assuming their life goals isn’t the answer, because the world isn’t the same place today. The key is actually a mix of things, some timeless and some that relate to this generation. Here, the essential elements.

1. You Need a Solid Core Group of Friends

Look at Carrie from Sex and the City. Through everything from Post-it Note breakups to snapped stilettos, she is generally one happy camper. Why? She has her posse. “Friendship is one of life’s main joys,” says David Niven, PhD, author of The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People. “Spending time with people who really know you affords you the freedom to be yourself, which increases contentment.”

But you don’t need to be the founding member of your own fab four to be happy. “You can have a small close-knit gang or various friends that factor into different areas of your life but aren’t necessarily part of the same group,” says Niven. “What matters most is that you feel open with them and they can be open with you.”

Of course, establishing openness doesn’t just happen. Friendships need nurturing. “In order for the relationship to grow, you have to share bits of your more private thoughts,” says Niven. Maybe that means spilling your secret desire to, say, audition for American Idol. “Once you reveal more of yourself and see that these friends accept you for who you really are, you’ll feel connected and therefore happier,” adds Niven.

I've found this to be very true, especially as of late during my trying times. I reached out to my core group of girl friends from the very beginning. I couldn't have made it through the past two months without Stephanie Terada, Valerie Cachola, Fatima Bautista, Rachelle Watson, (the only male friend in my core group) Brent Wong, and coworker (turned friend), Licia Wells. As time passes, I'm reaching out to other friends that have always been by my side: Patricia Howell and Annie Ly. Companionship when I'm down, a phone conversation to brighten my mood--these folks know what I need, and are so generous with their time and love. Nice that I can be completely myself with each and everyone one of these friends.

2. You Gotta Have Adventures

Quick: Recall your favorite college memory. A hundred bucks says it wasn’t that time you studied really, really hard and got an A minus on your Chem 101 exam. The, um, yum incident with the teacher’s assistant in the lab after class ranks a little higher, no? Thought so. And that’s the point. “If everything you did in life was safe, you’d never have any exhilarating moments or crazy experiences to recall, both of which give you the sense that you’re truly living,” explains Brian Luke Seaward, PhD, author of Quiet Mind, Fearless Heart.

Now, we’re not suggesting that you totally hurl caution to the wind, but don’t get hung up on always staying on the straight and narrow. “People assume that doing the right thing leads to happiness, but actually taking risks does,” says Seaward. For you, that might entail going off on a three-day weekend with a new guy or just wearing that extraslinky minidress.

Adventures! Taking more risks is actually one of my new year's resolutions, so I'm well on the way to achieving this one. Being in a relationship where it's comfortable and routine probably causes one to actually take less risks, so it's been some time since I've taken many, if any as of late. I'm going to wear that extraslinky minidress (after I buy one!), and I'll have to think of other feasible things...or maybe I'll just be more spontaneous...cause let's face it, that's my version of risk taking.

3. It’s Time to Toss Excess Stuff

If you can barely scrape together enough change to spring for that $4 latte, you’ll love this: Money (and all the crap that you can buy with it) won’t bring you happiness. In fact, when wealthy Americans were surveyed, they reported being only marginally happier than the general public. “When you have limitless funds, you tend to be hellbent on accumulating more,” says New York clinical psychiatrist Janet Taylor. “In the process, you lose the ability to appreciate what you do own and have difficulty feeling fulfilled.”

And you don’t need to be a gazillionaire to get caught in this trap. The problem might be that you just can’t seem to throw anything out. Like your favorite sweater from your high school days, that (hello!) is from the damn Gap, not specially knit by Grandma. “Extra belongings weigh us down and crowd our space, making us feel overwhelmed and disorganized,” says Dr. Taylor. “Lightening up will help you regain control and, therefore, happiness.”

On that lighter note, now is the perfect moment to purge. You don’t have to clean house completely, but you should hold on only to stuff you Love (with a capital L). “If you haven’t used or admired something in six months, part with it. No guilt allowed,” she insists. To be clear: That doesn’t mean stacking things in a giveaway pile in the corner of your room. It entails bagging up the items and disposing of them ASAP — whether you donate them to Goodwill or swap ’em on eBay.

Purging is not something I know how to do. I can't even part with work emails and previous drafts of something I'm working on. But it makes sense, and I've been meaning to start with my bedroom. Purge out all the trinkets I don't care for anymore and the clothes I don't fit or are out dated. While I'm at it...I should try to sell my newer clothes that don't fit and remind me of him.

4. A Balance of Busy and Dead Time Is Key

Always zipping around in spaz mode without a second to spare for even a pee break is bound to take a toll on your mood. But so is idling the day away on the couch. “Overextending yourself induces stress, yet it also makes you feel productive, like you’re contributing something, which is very important to happiness,” says Niven. “Similarly, inactivity breeds boredom, which inspires feelings of uselessness and discontent, but lulls are vital.” Essentially, all go-go-go will wipe you out, as will a solid diet of nada, but a mix of both? Bingo!

Okay, so how do you strike the perfect balance? Fill your days with stuff you love (your Tuesday-night step class) and stuff you have to do (balancing your checkbook). Just keep in mind that at the end of the day, you want to feel like “you’ve accomplished something but that you’ve also relaxed,” says Niven. Of course, the toughest part for most of us is learning to let go. For you, it might be enough to vow not to dwell on work after-hours or to schedule regular vacations. Others find meditation helpful. No, you don’t need to lie in the dark, chanting om for 10 hours. A quick eight minutes is all it takes, according to Victor Davich, author of 8 Minute Meditation. To do: Start by sitting upright with your hands on your thighs, palms up. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Hold it for a two second count, then release, letting your breath ease into its natural rhythm. Focus on keeping this concentration for the eight-minute span and you’ll feel lighter instantly. Really.

I think I could use more help with this aspect. I try to balance out my days with some obligatory and non obligatory events. I do think I could use more fun things I love to do...even if just sitting at a coffee shop with a good book. Doesn't help that my obligatory things are tasks I have to do for others, and the obligatory things I do for myself (errands and such) end up being my alone time. Hmph...wonder if that will ever change.

5. It’s Crucial to Give in to Temptation

You log overtime at work, hit the gym religiously, stick to a low-fat, no-fun diet, and even remember birthdays. Or maybe you aren’t quite so type A. But you still get to work on time, kiss your boss’s ass when you’d rather kick it, and play nice to your folks. Face it, making it in this world takes some serious discipline, regardless of your personality profile. “The pressure to keep up is so exhausting that it would seem like the payoff for showing such restraint would be great,” says Seaward. “But if you don’t stop to savor something pleasurable, you’re going to wind up miserable.”

Clearly, you must indulge. Some thoughts: Splurge on a gourmet sandwich one day for lunch instead of brown bagging it. Surf the Web rather than returning that hundredth e-mail. Get the deluxe spa pedicure. “When you feel completely overwhelmed, that’s actually when you need to treat yourself the most,” says Seaward.

Wow, I guess I do this one right! Gourmet sandwich instead of brown bag--CHECK..barely even brown bag it. Surf the web rather than returning that hundredth email--CHECK...I can do both! Get that deluxe spa pedicure--CHECK...I don't mind splurging on treatments like these. They're not even luxury things for me, more like everyday, normal occurrences...cause I'm worth it and deserve it!

6. Liking Yourself Is Nonnegotiable

Since you’re human, you have no doubt had one of those “Omigod! I can’t believe I said that” moments, followed by a “Stupid, stupid, stupid” fist to the forehead. Like, say, the time you introduced your guy to Bob the CEO at the office barbecue, only Bob’s name is actually Bill. Then you spent the rest of the night harping on what an idiot you are. “We tend to beat ourselves up, but it’s necessary to let ourselves off the hook,” says Ed Diener, PhD, professor of psychology and leading happiness researcher at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. “Inevitably, you’re going to make mistakes, and yet you still have to like yourself.”

The same holds true for those so-called physical imperfections that you let deflate you. You know, the slight crook in your nose that you swear makes you a prime candidate for The Swan. We can all point to 10 things that are wrong with us, but the key to happiness is appreciating yourself despite them, adds Diener.

And that ain’t easy. But it’s important to learn to keep your inner critic in check. So for every time you get down on yourself, remind yourself of something you excel at and get comfortable talking yourself up by tossing one positive thing (e.g., props from your boss or a sweet e-mail from your boyfriend) into conversation. “We tend to downplay our successes because we don’t want to sound like a braggart, but sharing good news is uplifting,” says Diener. “Not only are you reflecting on something that made you feel awesome, but the other person is going to get excited for you, which gives you an even bigger lift.”

LIKE MYSELF?! I LOVE MYSELF! Haha. Yes, I have the occasional, "Doh, did I say/do that?!", but I know we can't sweat the small things. At the end of the day, I'm usually fairly happy with the day's events, in terms of what I did or didn't do. The days I beat myself up are few and far between. I love myself and know that those who love me will accept me..flaws, quirks and all!

7. You Must Stop Mentally Browsing

We know you’ve been here: You’re sitting at a restaurant, menu in hand, when the deliberation begins: Chicken or fish? Chicken or fish? After angsting for 20 minutes, you go with the fish... and then sit there until the meal comes, wondering if you should’ve gone with the chicken. Okay, maybe this is a very mild version, but in life, we do this on a larger scale all the time. “We convince ourselves that there must be something better out there, but ‘mental browsing’ is a recipe for dissatisfaction,” says Schwartz. “You’re wasting time and energy on doubting a good move just because there was another option, or 10, that you didn’t choose. You’ll never be happy if you live like this.”

The solution? Whenever a decision is in doubt — like whether your current guy is The One — pick two characteristics that are important to you (in this case, maybe it’s a sense of humor and a close-knit family). Once your criteria are established, ask yourself if they’re being met. If so, forget other options and move on. You’ll know if another option is better for you because it’ll nag at you. So relax, you’ve made the right choice...or at least one that’s going to make you happy.

This one is a toughie. I always go back and forth while ordering at a restaurant and always choose three or four options before narrowing things down and making a decision. More than anything, I don't wonder if there is something better out there, I worry that my choice won't produce the best possible outcome. I wonder what my therapist would say about that. Possibly, I just need to let things be. Que sera sera?

Serenity Prayer

**Original posting on Live Journal on January 21, 2009**

My therapist suggested that in addition to meditation, I add some sort of prayer to aid in my spiritual balance. I meditate everyday, and think light blue, light green and golden yellow (in terms of the color of my aura). I'm open to some sort of prayer; afterall, I do believe in a higher being. I'm not sure if I believe completely in the God and the faith my parents bestowed upon me at birth (and 20 some odd years of my life), so until I'm convinced that I can believe that again, I need an alternative to the traditional prayer. Then just like that, while online I came across The Serenity Prayer.


Photo credit: imapix

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next. Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

This Reinhold Niebuhr has something here. A prayer unlike anything I've ever had to memorize for religion class in elementary school, and one that I can get on board with. No mention of a being "who art in heaven," or 'full of grace," or "praying for us sinners." The prayer is almost empowering and new age--I like it!

Now to memorize it. Maybe at least the first stanza?

Exercise, vitamins, good healthy food, meditation and prayer...combine with some reading, relaxing and hanging out with family and friends will help my body, mind and soul stay balanced.

Thoughts I've Been Saving (All Day)...

**Original posting on Live Journal on January 20, 2009**

Truthfully, my first post was something I was conjuring up in my head as I ran yesterday. (Told you it was a good run!) Yeah, I'm weird like that; must be the planner in me. This entry is my (real) entry for January 20, 2009.

How could the day go by without me not mentioning this historic day, the inauguration of our first African American president?

I'm doing it bullet style. Here are thoughts I've been saving all day:

• I'm still very much overwhelmed. I hardly can believe that change is here. As I listened to his swearing in and speech in the conference room with my like-minded co-workers, I teared. I'm excited that our nation has progressed, and together we will help create the change we want in our nation. I have the utmost faith in Barak Obama.
  
• While I love Charlie Gibson and Diane Sawyer, their commentating (for lack of a better word) during the inauguration events was not their finest. I guess it's hard to find filler for moments that need no commentating. So, why didn't they just let the picture speak for itself?
  
• How old did Dick Cheney look in that wheelchair? I bet it was debilitating and not the way he wanted to go out, so to speak.
  
• I loved how coffee shops, restaurants, bars and the like had their televisions on to the inauguration events.
  
• I was emotional all day. A little kid waved at me on my way to lunch. My sister's BlackBerry message. My bad hair day turned good hair day by mid-afternoon. Seeing someone on Gmail chat. A long email from a friend. Delicious Chinese food. A short walk with my co-worker. Barak and Michelle's first dance to "At Last" sung by Beyonce. A short conversation. All brought this pang of emotion, and some brought tears in my eye ducts.
  
• Through the hours of inauguration highlights during the evening, I was not only thinking of our nation's new president and the huge task he has before him, but of the huge changes that I've been through these past two months...and what lies ahead for me.
  
• Missing him everyday...

A Good Run

**Original posting on Live Journal on January 20, 2009**

Before yesterday, it was two months since my last run (or any form of exercise for that matter). I had a good run. I started off on 6th and Geary and ran down California till 16th Avenue. Then I ran one block to Lake and ran past the nice homes till 24th. I was going to do the run I often did months before, but decided to take a right turn early. Dead end. Took that as a sign and decided to run back. Past Park Presidio I see a familiar sign: Mountain Lake Park.



Mountain Lake Park was my childhood...the park my siblings spent many afternoons going down the cement slide and swinging on the swings...the park where my elementary school held our annual field day festivities. I couldn't resist running in. I gasp. It's not as I remembered it. The cement slide was a mere 25-30 feet long. I know I'm two feet taller now, but my memories are of a slide that was 50 - 60 feet long. I keep walking. Walked up some stairs and down the hill. Be still my heart, the lake. I walked down the stairs that led to the narrow path around the lake. I find a rock high above the path and sit. I inhale through my nose and exhale out my mouth. I do so till I'm relaxed. I meditate and soak in my surroundings. Quiet and serene.

I walk through the rest of the park before running the last seven or so blocks. As I run I'm thankful that I made a wrong turn, and ended up at the quiet and serene park. For a moment that lake, that rock, that instance was mine and only mine.

Yes, I had a good run.

"First" Entry

A little under a month ago, I was inspired by a run and decided to start a blog. I've been so out of the blog scene, I couldn't think of the "in" blog spot (pun intended). Dare I go back to Xanga, I asked myself. I settled for Live Journal, and wrote a few entries before I 1) lost motivation and 2) realized LJ is so 2005! Ha!

So, here I am on Blogger...Blog Spot, whatever! Hoping to write more often, and in the meantime, I'll re-post entries that I started on LJ. They're too good to never be read...

To a my "first" entry!